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Thieves Just Do the Darndest Things

Posted at May 13th, 2010 in Criminal Defense, Plea Deal, Theft/Robbery

Humans can be ingenious criminals.  Luckily there are equally ingenious criminal defense lawyers to defend you if charged with a crime.  Yesterday a man robbed a car wash change machine, extracting a good lump sum of money using only a $20 bill and a piece of string.  Equally amazing is an old guy called the “Geezer Bandit” who looks like he is about ninety-nine years old and should be in a wheelchair playing bridge but has succeeded holding up San Diego banks since the summer without being caught by police.  Unfortunately genius has its limits.   These are serious crimes and when these men are caught and charged with robbery they will need a criminal defense attorney to represent them and fight for their right to be fairly tried by the legal system.  The “Toilet Paper Bandit”, who robbed a convenience store with his head wrapped in toilet paper, will certainly be calling a defense lawyer soon to fight allegations of theft.  This man managed to effectively disguise himself as a Charmin mummy beyond recognition but then left a prescription pill bottle with his name on it near the store.  The cops will be knocking on his door any minute now, and when they do, this so called ‘bandit’ will want a criminal attorney by his side. 

In another case that has caught Hollywood’s attention, reality TV star Alexis Neiers has been charged and sentenced for burglarizing Orlando Bloom’s Los Angeles home.   Neiers was a part of the jazzily named “Bling Ring” which cunningly used internet blogs and gossip sites to track the movement of celebrities and robbed their homes while they were away.  Unfortunately, the group was not smart enough not be caught on camera red-handed and not to stash the loot in their own homes.   As these stories show, all it takes is one mistake and then you better call a criminal defense attorney before you are incarcerated for your crime because prosecutors neither sympathize with criminal genius nor criminal stupidity.

If the case had proceeded to trial, Neiers’ criminal defense attorney would have portrayed her as a girl who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.  She is a young, aspiring model who had her own reality TV show.  She alleges that she did not take anything from Bloom’s home and was possibly under the influence of alcohol at the time of the alleged theft.  She comes across as a slightly naïve, young girl who has good intentions and is not used to being in trouble or being charged with robbery, burglary, or any other theft crime.  Originally, Neiers’ was going to plead not guilty and have a trial, but at the last moment Neiers’ theft attorney advised her to take a plea deal instead.  If the case had gone to trial it was rumored that Orlando Bloom would have testified against Neiers.   Neiers’ criminal defense lawyer rightly felt that if it came down to Orlando Bloom’s word against his clients, Orlando Bloom would be able to sway the jury with his charm and star-power to the detriment of Neiers case.  If she lost the trial, Neiers could have faced six years in prison on felony burglary charges. Instead, Neiers’ theft crimes lawyer negotiated a plea deal in which Neiers will receive six months jail time and three years probation.  In addition she will have to pay up to $600,000 in restitution. Because Neiers does not have a conventional career, she will still be able to achieve considerable success even though she has a felony charge on her record.  Hopefully she has learned her lesson and will never be caught in the company of people committing a crime again.

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